It has taken me so many days and nights of tears to be able to sit here and face these words. Annie is dead. Gone. Not here anymore. The 13th of May 2020 stole her. The moment I heard the news that my best friend, my heartbeat, my soul safe keeper has died, all alone in a foreign country, I broke. It was more than shock or sadness and in

It happened with no real intention. No interference of the gods. She was just there. At the river, as always. He did not know which day it first happened. It could have been the same Wednesday he bought lemons from the vendor close to his office. It could have been the Thursday back in April when he saved that poor moth being destroyed by his asshole cat. Come to think

She was doing mundane things on a mundane day. The heat was not felt on her skin and the sweat dripped in no specific pattern down her naked back. She knew her neighbor would sometimes pretend to be bird watching, when in fact, his binoculars were pointed right at her pale bottoms, her naked pale bottoms. Since she started her new chapter, for a lack of a better description, so

‘The purpose….’ she said, ‘.. the purpose is to not dwell on the purpose’. But she knew the purpose. He looked puzzled at her. He did that often, because god knows the stuff that comes out her mouth can be dirty beautiful and yet, like hurricanes in autumn. Unexpected, damaging and yet, poetic. But she, she did not ponder on how he saw or heard or ate her words. She

I have been semi high on antibiotics and thankful for it. Maybe I am hearing the song lyrics wrong, but tonight, they sound so goddamn right. This is the first time in months, if not years that I am writing again. So excuse the falling over feet and stumbles of word archery. In the past year, sadly so, I have become more head and less heart. I want to be

Dis n baie lank tyd sedert ek enige iets in my moedertaal geskryf het en vandag, vandag toe vind die woorde my, nes jy my keer op keer kom vind. Ek luister na die liedjie van Francois van Coke en Karen Zoid en ek sien jou glimlag soos jy staar na my waar ek sit en werk by my lessenaar. Hoe ek tot hier gekom het, weet ek nie, maar

It is almost 4 am and the silence surrounds me yet again. I cut my palms into the spaces between these words. Shooting bullets into my raw wounds, lack of actions and the blood dripping from razor sharp edges of photos from a time gone by and yet… I chose this, I keep choosing this , simply cause I know no other way. I cannot pretend I did not see

It seems I get lost all the time and I lose pieces of my day consumed by the intensely intimate moments with you replaying in my world. I would move through my hours and relive the curve of your smile, the smile you gave when you told me love can’t be put into words, that you just feel it or that exact moment when you were no longer in that space between awake

It has been awhile since I have written anything… BUT, the wolves are back after a long hibernation. I have been reading a lot lately, making changes long overdue. Made amends with knights and beasts – created some new ones – rode them, slayed them and forgave them. Found the joy of enjoying other’s happiness, celebrating the small joys and living with gratitude. The beauty and art of saying no

For C. I didn’t know I was lost. Not until you came and found me. I did not know I was to be found. That the best parts of me was scattered in a ‘lost and found’ box.  “Just breath” I heard you scream. My eyes and ears were filled with the storm of the rain, the pain and the pleasure in a sequence forgotten by the puppet masters of